Thanksgiving is less than one week away, and Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s and other big holidays follow soon after. It’s important to make plans. When planning, you may think only of the obvious: groceries, invitations, decorations, and outfits. However, it’s equally important to prepare for and manage your mental wellness during this time. Holidays are not a universally happy time. They can resurface painful memories, or remind us of the loss of a loved one, challenging family dynamics and even broken relationships. The internal conflict of what you “should” be feeling and what you actually feel can result in frustration, anger, or other intense or confusing emotions. Let’s break down some different ways you can begin preparing for the holiday season.
If you plan to visit family, consider making a plan to travel independently. Taking your own vehicle will allow you freedom and independence to exit when you need to. When traveling out of town, consider staying at a hotel or AirBNB. This physical distance and limitations on time around family members can provide a healthy balance of independence to the trip. Decide your boundaries for time in advance for all local or out-of-town events.
Hosting a holiday event at your house can add more pressure to please others. Some ways to ensure you don’t overextend yourself include: limiting the number of guests, establishing start and end times to the event, and allowing others to help. Share the responsibilities of prepping, cooking, and cleaning. Talk about your needs and limits with a trusted companion (spouse, parent, sibling) ahead of time. They can help make sure you don’t overextend yourself, and that others respect the boundaries you’ve set.
Being alone or grieving a loss of a loved one on the holidays can be especially difficult. If you are able to get out of your house, consider volunteering your time at a shelter, church or school. Giving to others is a great way to be reminded of your value and self-worth. Other ways to give include donating money, food, clothing and gifts. Giving to others is a powerful way to help shift our perspective and remind us of the things we do have, rather than the things we’ve lost.
Whether the holiday season is the best time of the year, the most difficult, or somewhere in between, be sure to prioritize your mental health. Decide in advance how to establish and maintain appropriate boundaries. Your mental health should take precedence over what others may expect of you. Surround yourself with people and an environment that supports the decisions you have made. If this season is difficult, remind yourself to take one day at a time, and grant more grace and compassion for yourself and others during this time of year.
